Sunday, July 11, 2004

Lord's Day

Sorry for not writing in this blog for so long. I began to think I was writing for an audience of one (myself) so I lost any desire to write. I guess I'm like anyone else, I want to be heard. I've realized, however, I can write this as a diary and express whatever hopes & dreams I have in a positive way. So here goes...

Well, it's Lord's Day again and here I am not at church, as usual. I feel such a longing to be with other believers and know this is what Christ has called us to do, to be in fellowship with others, but I can't seem to get over the panic I feel every time I try to get ready to go to church. I know this is an attack of Satan's and he's getting the victory over my faith when I allow the panic to take control, but I can't seem to overcome it. If I were just meeting with family members it would be ok, I think, but having to interact with several persons who go to my family's gathering & who aren't family is when I feel this panic. I'm just really terrible at interacting with people I don't know well.

I also am having difficulties because I disagree, doctrinally, with the fellowship my family goes to, yet I have had a sense in the recent past this is where God wants me to be. It's a struggle to know what to do. I know what I need to do is to pray and read the scriptures and God will clarify this for me, but it's hard to overcome my natural mind which uses any excuse to not do these two important things. Anyway, any Christians who are reading this, I would value your prayers that all these fears can be overcome by the grace of God.

I will try to do a better job of writing consistently in this space. Tomorrow I'll tell about my nieces and nephews and some friends of theirs who are coming over tonight to do oral reports about different Mediterranean countries. We'll also be having a dinner in which each of the kids are assigned a country & are making a dish from that place. I can't wait to see what they have to say!

1 comment:

steph said...

I hear your questions, your heart Debbie.

Sabbath is a day to rest, to remember, to be filled with
quiet. Lord's Day has been legal legislated, I believe, just as Sabbath became legal legislated in Jesus day. You can have Sabbath mid week if that is how your schedule permits. But the thing is to have a day of "rest" that allows you to worship truly and fully. Not easy in our busy world or the way our schedules go.

Seeking "truth" will always lead you deeper with God and so keep seeking because you will find pieces of it. I am not sure that we will find it all this side of heaven because our humanness gets in the way.

Your international family meal sounds terrific. Jesus used food times to draw people together. I have many thoughts on this issue, which can be shared later, but food has become something we worship, and the Christian church refuses to address that food has become an addiction - and our background is part of this too.

Keep searching, keep trusting God's character - it won't fail!