Wednesday, August 18, 2004

I'm a big baby...but it's ok!

I can't help wondering sometimes what God is trying to teach me when He allows me to be in this screamingly unbearable pain. I know it casts me upon Him, in prayer, & this is good, but when it continues for days on end, I find myself losing faith. It's hard not to be frightened... I know my life is in His hands & HIs Spirit lives within me so no matter what happens I will be kept safe whether on this side of Heaven or on the other. It's funny 'coz I like to think I'm really tough because I live with severe pain daily, yet when this extra pain happens, I feel like such a baby!!

Being a baby, though, is a good thing, even though, in saying I feel like a baby, I am truly mocking myself. Yet, in thinking about babyhood, I have come to appreciate the fact that they are totally dependent on those who love them. They have to be held, fed & loved in uncountable ways. How wonderful this is!! It is the way we should be in relation to God; cast completely on Jesus, "The Leader & Completer of Faith" (as scripture says). Perhaps this is the answer to the question, “Why”. It’s always a good, no, a triumphant, thing to be cast on Christ Jesus.

In realizing this, I can thank my Heavenly Father for His great love for me. As the scripture in James says, “Give thanks in all things.” It’s important to realize that most translations use this interpretation, NOT ‘for all things’. Sometimes there are times when we just can’t give thanks for something, but we can always give thanks in our circumstances, no matter how painful. If nothing else, we can give thanks for a beautiful sunrise, for eyes to see it, for life to live in this lovely creation of God’s. It doesn’t make the pain or suffering go away, but it helps me to see outside of myself, to focus my eyes on the Physician, God & Father, our Rose of Sharon, Alpha & Omega, the Beginning & the End, Ancient of Days, my dearest Abba. All of these wonderful names meaning God!

Thank You, dearest Father & Friend for being with me through this time of suffering. Thank You for my family, for friends, for all those who care about me. Thank You for the sun’s rising & setting, & all the beauty You show to us everyday. Most of all, thank You for the gift of Your precious, only Son. (A gift made so all those who love You & give their lives to You can become sons, too; by adoption!) How You must love us to have done this; to have shown Your love in such a way! Please give me eyes to see the wonder of Your creation. Help me to glorify You in all that I do despite the circumstances because You alone are worthy of glory & praise & adoration. I love You with all of me!

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