Friday, August 20, 2004

Feeling lots better!

Went to the dentist this (no, yesterday) morning & had 3 (count 'em) teeth pulled. Between a massive infection & problems with bone/mineral loss from osteopenia (a precursor to osteoporosis), I've struggled with broken teeth for several months. Am at the point of needing a partial denture. It's pretty embarrassing to say the least, because not only has it caused me a great deal of pain, I'm starting to look like some old trailer park granny! All I need is a pipe to smoke & I could fit right in down in Tennessee where my twin lives; sitting on a front porch swing, rocking & smoking my corncob pipe. (Pretty scary picture, huh?) I'm walking in faith, though, & know that God knows how distressful this is to me. Thankfully, I feel His nearness through this time & know my life is in His safe & loving hands.

I sometimes worry about finding a "real" job, 'coz no-one would want to hire someone with my appearance. If I could only stop smiling so much, or at least learn to do it with my mouth closed! Unfortunately(?) I've been gifted with too good a sense of humor & can't stop myself from grinning & laughing when I'm at my current job. I can't help finding joy in little things & so am left with this stupid gap-tooth grin. Oh well...

When I think of all the surgeries I've been through & all the pain I've suffered through in my adult life, having a gaps in my smile is a small thing. It's funny, though, how the small things get to me! When I was at the dentist, he wanted to give me a prescription for pain meds but I told him I thought I'd be ok since I'd been putting up with this horrendous pain for six days ('coz his office wouldn't give me an appt. until yesterday). Sure enough, I'm doing well with just Advil & my usual chronic pain medicine. Stupidly, my fear of having these teeth pulled & how I would look afterward is what put me off from seeing the dentist these past few months. I'm much more bothered by how I look now, then by all the pain I was in before. I never thought I was so vain! It's good to learn these things about one's self.

Thank You, my dearest Heavenly Father, for watching over me & being so near me during these last several pain-filled days. Thank You for Your grace & the love you've shown me throughout my life & thank You for making me see my life is in Your hands! I love You & adore You & long to be in Your presence some day. Thank You for all the gifts You give in each day. Help me to have eyes to see the beauty of Your creation. How can I not worship You? In Your Son's precious & holy Name.

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