Lord's Day

Sorry for not writing in this blog for so long. I began to think I was writing for an audience of one (myself) so I lost any desire to write. I guess I'm like anyone else, I want to be heard. I've realized, however, I can write this as a diary and express whatever hopes & dreams I have in a positive way. So here goes...

Well, it's Lord's Day again and here I am not at church, as usual. I feel such a longing to be with other believers and know this is what Christ has called us to do, to be in fellowship with others, but I can't seem to get over the panic I feel every time I try to get ready to go to church. I know this is an attack of Satan's and he's getting the victory over my faith when I allow the panic to take control, but I can't seem to overcome it. If I were just meeting with family members it would be ok, I think, but having to interact with several persons who go to my family's gathering & who aren't family is when I feel this panic. I'm just really terrible at interacting with people I don't know well.

I also am having difficulties because I disagree, doctrinally, with the fellowship my family goes to, yet I have had a sense in the recent past this is where God wants me to be. It's a struggle to know what to do. I know what I need to do is to pray and read the scriptures and God will clarify this for me, but it's hard to overcome my natural mind which uses any excuse to not do these two important things. Anyway, any Christians who are reading this, I would value your prayers that all these fears can be overcome by the grace of God.

I will try to do a better job of writing consistently in this space. Tomorrow I'll tell about my nieces and nephews and some friends of theirs who are coming over tonight to do oral reports about different Mediterranean countries. We'll also be having a dinner in which each of the kids are assigned a country & are making a dish from that place. I can't wait to see what they have to say!